Yesterday’s events hit me harder than I would have predicted. I’m sure I’m not alone in that.
I’m up [close to] on time this morning, having coffee with the cat [he doesn’t actually drink coffee, but he lives to try and put his tail in mine], about to turn my queue back on, get to work and take the babysteps I need to take out of Monday’s cocoon.
Before I close the browser and go finish up that lettering pass, I want to just take a minute to say thank you to the Carol Corps. Last night’s fundraiser did so much to raise my spirits.
I’m self-conscious telling this story… because it’s corny, I guess? I’m not sure why exactly. I’m too cool to sound like a greeting card? Because I simply don’t want to be misunderstood, maybe.
But. A few years ago, at the height of the controversy surrounding Guantanamo Bay, I considered giving up my vocation and going to law school. I felt very pointedly that I wasn’t… helping. As a fiction writer, I wasn’t doing anything that made the world a better place. It wasn’t a thought about ego; not about wanting to be remembered for good deeds or anything, just the idea that when I leave, I want to take with me the notion that I helped. That I gave. That I acted with courage and out of love.
Nicki, Maria, Gilbert, Beverly, David, Kit, June, Andy, the OS couple, Mary, Soufex & Naja, Michael, Erin, and the couple hundred others of you whose real names I either don’t know or I can’t call up off the top of my head—this little community you’ve formed and allowed me to be a part of… makes me feel… I dunno. Like I’m part of a thing. And that thing, in a multitude of little ways, is helping.
Folks like the Civil Right attorney, Navy pilot, the woman who has used Carol as a totem to help her navigate her social anxiety, you guys are the Carol Corps heroes. But in being who you are, the stories you’ve shared with me, you’ve blessed me with the feeling that I am there on the sidelines with a little cup of water for you as you go… helping.
Thank you for that.
Your kind words continue to astound me, so I think I owe you something in return.